As a fighter, you learn very quickly how important it is to have a team backing you up. In the middle of the fight, it’s just you and your opponent. Trust me, as a Martial Artist, I know exactly how that adrenaline-filled, action-packed, intense round feels. And then the next round. Because a fight isn’t short and sweet. It takes stamina and determination. Even more important: it takes coaches and sparring partners who help you to get to that moment. In the ring, it may feel like it’s only you fighting for your goal but the truth is, you can’t get there on your own.

Neither can our Bio Families. As I walk this adventure with Little Miss, I can’t help but think of the fight. Her parents are in the middle of the fight of her life. It’t the fight to get her back, the fight to do what they need to do so they can bring her home. Before anyone thinks I am not well aware of the things that brought Little Miss to me, believe me, I know. I worked in a children’s Emergency Room for years. The stories I have heard and the things my eyes have witnessed are haunting.

Do you know how easy it is to place blame if those are the memories that keep me up at night? I get it. One of my favorite movies Instant Family points out that its not easy to feel empathy for someone who hurts the kids we love but “we have to try”. And you know what? When you take the time to know the parents… it’s not always as hard as you might think.

As I have spent time with Little Miss’ parents, I can’t help but think about the fact that they aren’t bad people. They have struggles. They have stories. And they LOVE their daughter. They want to do what it takes. The courts will decide what happens as hearings progress and time goes on. I can’t tell you how glad I am that it is not up to me. Every day is a rollercoaster of feelings and I desperately want to be in her corner which means that I need to be in their corner too.

Somedays that is easy but others, it can be so hard. Sometimes the parents may struggle to let you in and let you be in their corner or maybe they lean on you too heavily. I truly believe it is worth the effort. Even if I need to be reminded sometimes!