I’m the Queen Avoider.

Blame it on being the baby of the family, blame it on my generation, blame it on whatever you wish, it’s still painfully true.

I’m not lazy. My boss would tell you I am an over-achiever who needs to take more vacation time. Easier said than done, I’ve got bills to pay. SO it’s not that I don’t work hard or don’t like too.

Simply put: I’m afraid. I avoid what I don’t know. I don’t like the adventure of “come what may”. Not in my every day life.

Which makes this blogging adventure terrifying. You can’t start blogging without high goals. You will give up if you don’t have a reason for doing this, and it can’t just be “I read a post on Pinterest so I should be a millionaire tomorrow”. That’s not enough. Don’t fool yourself, that would be fabulous but I’m not quitting my day job just yet.

My goals are simple.

I know I can’t be the only one out there facing the next chapter of their life book wishing the previous felt more complete. Therefore, if I’m going to try to make changes, I need community. If there are others like me out there, I want to support them and be supported. I just choose to write to do so.

I want more balance in my life, and hope to help others find it in theirs.

And sure, paying off all my student debt would be an added bonus. Maybe I’ll just start with “make enough to support my book buying habit.”

Hey, we all have vices, mine just happen to be coffee and paperbacks… and leather bounds… and electronic readers…

POINT BEING I know darn well I need to make some changes. For my physical, emotional, and mental health, I am writing it all out as I go.

So What’s the problem? Well, what if I don’t succeed? I’m not talking financially, I mean with all the changes I want to make? What if I give up or simply can’t hang? I would have displayed that failure all over the internet. Luckily, God is gracious and quick to pop me upside the head.

How perfectly egotistical of me. How very millennial.  AS if the whole internet cared if I continued to post or not. It was a sharp reminder that mostly, I am changing for me. One of my closest friends (J. R.) sent a text to myself and one of our other friends (L.O.) with a plead of desperation clouded by disappointment. No matter how much she dieted, no matter how often she worked out, she was not loosing the weight. Her doctor was stumped and suggested that she my have a glutton intolerance. This left her with an intense diet change once again and she was discouraged.

As all good friends would do, L.O. and I jumped right in. We aren’t the type to just tell you that you are beautiful and screw what others think. There’s a time and a place for that (i.e. break ups) but when someone comes to you with heart pain, you need to do more.

We researched. Came up with diet plans and workouts. Offered to turn our planned Girls Night into a meal prep.

We marched into battle with her.

Dear ones, I know I am Manic. I know I am scattered and all over the place. I know I struggle. But I am also a fighter. I know how to fight and I enjoy teaching others to hold their own. That doesn’t mean I lost my fear. I am still worried I will fail. But I also know that it is worth the fight. You don’t win them all, but you should always learn from them.

Which means… I’ll be continuing to write about all these things and hopefully a few of you will join the fight too.

Today I’ll create the meal plans. I’m not going to crash head first into life change, because that almost always spells defeat. Instead, I’m going to get organized and start with having the right foods in the house. Then, I’ll show you what I’m working with. Give me tips and please encourage me as I go! I’m sure to need it.

Always,

Manic