Five A.M.

Five O’clock.

You mean there’s one of those in the MORNING?! Somehow when I think of that Happy Hour I don’t envision a sunrise… Unless its a Tequila Sunrise… I rest my case.

Bluh.

About that explanation I mentioned last time…

I recently moved from a house with a big,fenced in backyard. My charming pups have always woken up early to go outside. Unfortunately, my new yard lacks a fence. This forces me to don appropriate clothing and take the dogs downstairs to do their business on leashes.

In case you aren’t fluent in DOG.

Leash = walk.

Should you skip that very important translation and they don’t get the exercise they desperately desire, they do bad things. Like eat Mommies favorite boots or poo in her freshly cleaned carpets.

Therefore, reason Number One for my morning torture is my Fur Babies.

But let’s face it, that’s not the real reason.

The secret, petty reason is all about my dangerously low self-esteem.

I don’t like how I look.

I don’t like how I feel.

I lack motivation.

And I am sick of it.

Because of all of those totally legit reasons, I thought I would do what any Pinterest-loving woman would do. I searched and searched for some of those “Oh so Fabulous” tricks on How to Become a Morning Workout Girl.

***Disclaimer: They didn’t all work for Me. That doesn’t mean they wont help YOU.***

Tip 1) Wear your exercise outfit to bed.

Great in theory, all you have to do is add socks and shoes! However… I’m a busty girl. My Double D’s demand support in order to do just about anything. I don’t know how I have avoided back problems so far! The only way to accomplish the support they need is either:

a) The Dreaded Double Bra. Literally wearing two, TWO bras for support.

b) High Impact Sports Bras. (i.e. Can’t breath but the girls aren’t going anywhere Bras.)

I can’t sleep well under those conditions! Which in turn would make it even less likely that I would wake up early and if I did, oh man would I be in a bad mood!

Tip 2) Drink a large, cold glass of water as soon as you wake up.

The problem with that is the obvious. I would have to GET UP to go pour a cold glass of water. I tried. I simply rolled over and pushed snooze with a big NOPE.

My Solution is a thermal cup. They last throughout the night so I can have it by my bedside as soon as I fumble to reach my alarm. That one actually helped!

Tip 3) Set your alarm or phone then put it out of reach.

Problem: This takes discipline I do not yet posses. I check my phone often and get work related calls at night. I know, I need to work on both of those things…a post for another day.

Solution: I could use a different alarm than my phone (old school, right??) but I haven’t brought myself to spending the money on something I basically already have.

Tip 4) Go to bed earlier.

Seriously? That’s the tip you have for me internet??

The problem is (or should I call them EXCUSES now?) that my work schedule is ever-changing. I don’t have a regular ‘bed time’ per say.

Solution: I’ll be posting some time in the future about Shift Work and the Body to explain why we really need to strive for consistency. I know, it’s not as simple as it sounds which is why I plan on testing out some of my thoughts before giving you advice on it. I don’t want to suggest anything I’m unwilling to try myself.

Tip 5) Don’t.

That one is from me y’all. I have come to the conclusion that not everyone is a morning person and that’s OK. I have to walk the pups, but does it have to be so early? Probably not and I don’t need to beat myself up over it. Seriously, if there is anything I hope to encourage you in, it’s to be kind to yourself. Yes, Push your limits. Yes, strive to improve. But remember its not happening instantly. Take your time and be kind to your soul.

WE get enough negativity, enough judgement and harsh words. Do not allow your voice to be one of them.

I’m not throwing in the towel and I don;t want you to do so either. Just take it day by day.

I have some other ideas of how to reach my goals so be looking for them! Tell me what works for you, help me out over here! I would love to try your suggestions and maybe let me know if you tried any of the above tips!

As always,

Manic